she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
