Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
