You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm getting married
To pizza
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
