Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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