I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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