I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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