he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Holy shit dude........stairs
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
