fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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