can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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