we're blogging at a bar
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
