I'm drive I can fine osifer
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
