so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
