Just fell off a train. Bad.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
