Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
