glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize