Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
