Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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