Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
