I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
