HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
