I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He passed out mid-signature
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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