It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
