just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I am one with the molecules
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
