Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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