Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
