whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
