I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We smell like vodka and hangover
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
