I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
