maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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