i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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