I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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