Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
