Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
