Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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