Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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