well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
NoShamevember. You game?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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