no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just want nice things and good sex
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
