it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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