so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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