Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
