did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
