I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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