Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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