Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize