these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize