It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i need some magic done to my vagina
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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