you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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