She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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