Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
third nipple confirmed
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize