5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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