But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
