as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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