The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
