Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
