I just saw a hot homeless man
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just high enough for therapy.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
