hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
