Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
