party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
